I am gone for the evening;
I return.
Not bad, only red marker all over one arm of one couch, a reasonable price to pay for my almost 4 hours of solo time.
Sensing that all is well in my world, i ask the kids how their evening was.
In the flurry of rapid-fire, 4-person verbal attack, child #2 is very geeked to dominate the conversation and presents "the kicker"; that special comment that will most certainly draw my attention to his thoroughly interesting perspective.
Oh, and it does.
"There's a squirrel in the yard, and it's head is off, and they ate out it's butt!!!"
He is pleased, indeed, that my head turns to focus on him and his astonishing revelation.
The finger points eagerly, out the back door, and we all fly down the stairs in succession; barefoot and magnetized;
i am kind of horrified that our loving kitties could down a squirrel;( if you have ever had outdoor cats, you know what i mean; they never get the good end of a squirrel battle, and learn early not to bother trying, usually...)
Oh, what relief, it's not a squirrel! It’s only another rabbit.
I feel bad, I like rabbits. At least I never heard this one screaming for it's little life. (Have you ever heard a rabbit scream??? Not so good.)
It really is in....several… pieces.
No wonder #2 didn't know what it was!
#3 wants really, really, badly to pet it, and dances around the carnage chanting his desire.
#4 declares "ew, ew, ew..." sniffing the air in search of evidence of putrification.
#1 looks on with the studied air of one seeking to strike a mature posture.
Dad only briefly looks’ up from his computer screen, and knowingly makes no effort whatsoever toward the crime scene.
We don't expect him to.
See, dad throws up very easily.
Not wanting to have to clean up a vomit-encrusted dismembered bunny, i know what needs to come next….
“Shoo! Get to bed now..."
Everyone is in the house now, all are happily tucked in and quiet.(all happy, i kid you not! i still can't believe that part myself! True story!)
(Dad is still at the computer...)
I decide to ignore the rabbit for now.
I go for my evening constitutional instead,
Subduing my body into 50 min. of pavement-pounding having instantly been deemed far more desirable than the task at hand, and besides, I NEED that exercise!
When i return, guess what is still waiting for me; (and I ain't referring to that sexy, underwear clad beast in my bed.)
I offer to my husband that since I am still dressed, I should bag the bunny and run it over to the park to trash it.
(Last week, the chipmunk stuck to the bottom of the trashcan...)
Anyway, as his one and only contribution to the effort, he supposes that police intervention would ensue followed by headlines regarding the headless rabbit and the "satanic" cats.
I go to bed.
Of course, this morning comes, and, well, I have no choice.
Not wanting my backyard to become a macabre petting zoo, i scoop up the critter, (in 2 bags,) and put it in the trash. (OUR trashcan, not the city's.)
I thank for Lord for the beautiful autumn-like weather, also grateful that there are several bags of trash in there already, (so the carcass won't stick! What a relief!)
Ah, life is gross.
I mean, good.
Yeah, that's what i meant to say, life is good...
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